Zoltar Lives!

It would appear my wish was granted.


For a fairly long time I've felt that I've been waiting for something...on hold.
Went through a painful divorce last year, but we are both still close friends and both doing better for it.


I've been reading off and on about the coming crisis we face. Last week I "happened" on a book that has energized and inspired me. Then this weekend, in taking a break from the book, watched: DMT: The Spirit Molecule. After it was done I was looking around for something "lighter" to watch and "happened" on this: 2012:Time For Change.
I think you can see why it captured me so. The balance between the book's careful analysis of where we are, how we got here and why this time is different and the movie's impact caused a shift.


Somehow I feel called, purposeful. I'm writing, reaching out and participating. Reading, sharing.
Me, Mr. isolationist. Well, not so much anymore. Perhaps it's as simple as the survival instinct overcame the isolationist instinct.  Or maybe a bit more. Maybe consciousness is evolving and I'm being carried right along with it.
There comes an agonizing reappraisal of technique and 'practice'. The brutal negation of ND work was useful, and now time to move on. Don't Stop, Further:

Words are false; only the meaning they convey is true. They are illusion, but they give a meaning. Therefore, all is illusion but to understand the illusion, illusion is needed. For example, to remove a thorn in your finger you use another thorn; then you throw both of them away. But if you keep the second thorn which was used to remove the first one, you'll surely be stuck again. 

Much movement and reconnection. Lots happening. Lots of Mo'.

You'll see more to come.

Wonders and mystical and magical.

And, we're in for a rough ride. 

It's going to 'worse' before it gets better.

"Ladies, hold back the edges of your gowns, we're going through Hell."

Stay tuned...


P.S. It ain't just me.

No Idea

A friend recently sent me this:

"I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, / and I have been circling for a thousand years, / and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, / or a great song." Here's my own permutation: "I am circling around love, around the throbbing hum, and I have been circling for thousands of days, and I still don't know if I am a wounded saint, or a rainy dawn, or a creation story."

by Rilke in his Book of Hours (translated by Robert Bly)

I have no idea what I am, who I am, what is going on, where I'm going, what I'm doing or why.

and I am fine with it.

Thrill is Gone?

"Arthur Levinson, former CEO of biotech company Genentech, is taking on the chairmanship of Apple's board, filling the role that Apple founder Steve Jobs vacated when he died last month."El Reg notes that Disney CEO/President Robert Iger was also appointed to the board, and that this marks the first time since the return of Steve Jobs to Apple that the CEO and board chairman were different people.

What's interesting for me - and it started a couple weeks ago as I was looking at pics of the Apple sr. mgt team and they looked like nice guys and all. but they're just guys.

I've been noticing that with Steve gone my apple "fervor" for lack of a better term is diminishing.

Has it made me want to buy an android phone or switch to PC? nooo - not gone that far , yet.

but the bloom is off the rose. apple seems like just another company - good, better than many, but not the "Magic" place it was under steve.

Guess I'll wait and see what comes...

but interesting to notice.

End of an Era

Steve Jobs died today.

I was blown way when I heard. Sad, moved. I was blown away by how blown away I felt.

One of the best lines:

He changed forever the computer, music, and film industries, doing so through the simple expedient of better design. He redefined the notion of taste in an industry dominated by engineers and a general lack of style.

Never met the man but worked at Apple and NeXT.

I have a story...not about Steve, but about the impact he and his vision and company had on me.

In 1992 I went to work at Apple HQ as an analyst in the IT dept.

I was a PC person. Had used a Mac a few times, considered it a toy, but it did great graphics.

When I got to my new cube, there was a Mac II waiting for me. I moved the monitor a bit and when I turned on the computer it "chimed me" (hardware failure).

My new co-workers said "you must be a PC guy, it can tell."

Well, I scoffed at that and rebelled against the kool-aid drinkers....

Until a few months later when, as an employee, I could buy a Mac laptop at a big discount.

This was my first Mac, my first laptop, a small Powerbook with trackpad. Hi Rez BW screen.

I remember picking it up at the depot and driving to one of the Apple HQ buildings where I had a meeting in a few minutes. I had time to open it and look at it before the meeting.

Now, remember, in 1992 - computers came in dull, gray boxes...

Not this box. Attractive brown color with attractive graphics on the outside showing off the laptop inside. Well thought out and designed.

I opened the box.

On the top was a slick, glossy sheet of paper that said welcome to the community of Apple. We are here for you and with you and want to help you be successful.

That kind of thing.

Then I opened the laptop.

The screen sprang to life.

It said:

"Do you know how to use a mouse. If Yes, click here. If no, press any key and we'll show you how.

I was amazed.

The care, concern, design, thoughtfulness. I felt I'd been touched by kindred spirits. Others who wanted to change the world, one person at a time.

Just like I did.

I was blown away.

When I got to work the next day, with new found respect for and enjoyment of all things Apple (and my new laptop which I loved for a long time)

I wrote a long email to my colleagues expressing how I felt.

They came by one at a time to smile, nod and say:

"You've Been Mac'd"

They even had a name for it. When one GETS what Apple is all about.

I've been a Mac fanboi ever since.

To this day, one of my never-fading joys is to open an Apple product.

Steve has always been my favorite entrepreneur.

The world dimmed a bit when he shut down for the last time.

I got shiny eyes and felt moved.

Thank you Steve for all you were and all you gave.

It was to make the place the way your think it should be.

I totally respect that.

my other posts about Steve:

here and here.

Let's Do It All Again

Many decades ago I clearly saw the infinity of existence exposed through the idea of doing everything there is to do every which way possible in every possible combination, color, flavor, style and perversion, with everyone and everything ...

and then what to do the next morning?

Do it all over again.

Which is the point of existence.

that there is none

there doesn't need to be any.

A friend turned me onto this song which seems to capture the feel well. Especially the last line.

There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbecue
This a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Eended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a black top blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
http://www.directlyrics.com/katy-perry-last-friday-night-lyrics.html

Life in 'The Goo'

Recently talking about how it is to live in the undefined region.

No definition to relationships. No definition to life situation.

No definition to work.

All undefined

Open

Changing

Referred to it as "the goo" - the place where it is all undefined. Like a chrysalis.

Like certain Grateful Dead Jams - where there would be a period of time when they weren't really playing any one song (all songs at once) and then a melody or rhythm would appear and the song would form.

Caused by a particular band member or played through them?

Sometimes hard to tell.

And, the longer I stay in the goo the better the outcome.

As if choosing, forming, deciding, creating too early stifles what is yet to come.

This can be very hard at times. I get the feeling of wanting to pick...well, anything, just to have finally made some thing form, exert some type of control.

To let that go and patiently wait for fullness.

One of the hardest things I've done.

Wish?

Many people have pointed out that my birthday this year comes up as "11-11-11"

A truly mystical, magical and powerful number, in certain circles.

Uhm, ok.

This triggered a series of thoughts that led to the question:

OK, if The Universe came to me and said "your birthday is 11-11-11 this year. We will grant you a one time, never to be repeated wish. Anything you can imagine and describe that does not break current laws of physics and consciousness, you can have. Anything. Period."

what would you wish for?