Healing

Part of this work must include healing the jagged edges, hindrances and fractured parts of the self.
As Wolff would say, the experience of E means nothing if you can't transcend your own psychology.

Recent events have brought attention to a very old fracture.

I have been fortunate to know and work with a medical intuitive.
Her site can be found here.

Thank you Sydney. Profound gratitude for you and what you do.

A Ballon's Preference

Imagine a balloon tied with a string.

Would it prefer to be held by the string
or float away?

(hint: there is no right answer)

Pot Stirrer Gets Stirred

My core nature is to be a pot-stirrer and smoke alarm (not squeaky wheel, there's a difference, think about it).

Lately events have conspired to stir the pot-stirrer.
Initial reactions were wild and things seem to be settling down into a new, albeit weird normal.

One lesson all this has given me is an appreciation for how little credence to give the mind's interpretation, prediction and planning for how to react to events.
"If she does this then I'll do that" kind of thing.

Problem is there is the missing existential component of the moment - no matter how carefully, fully and accurately i plan and propose and prepare, at the moment when the other person says or does something, everything can change.
Predicable reaction become unpredictable.
Low probability outcomes or even non-imagined outcomes become really possible.
Space opens up for things that are pretty much unimaginable or imagined undesirable. Surprise when they are now both real and desirable.
And, this is where the work done to reduce or eliminate programmed, conditioned mental and emotional hindrances kicks in. Without it I would most likely be hanging with Charlie Sheen. In Spades.

and "I" am still not doing anything.

fucking mind...
now where did I put that lobotomy knife... it's around here somewhere... (Thanks to Chuck for the Lobo Photo. He raises an excellent point. One should NEVER perform their own lobotomy...how to know where to stop?)

I still maintain that thought is the toxic waste byproduct of consciousness in form.
All this is happening below (beyond?) the level of verbal conceptual mind anyway, so the mental stuff is just garbage-overlay and needs to go. THAT is (part of ) what the practice is about for me.