Dec 3, 2010

Five years.

Who's Choosing?

This post in Savage Love inspired today's blog post:

What is your response to people who say that being gay is a choice?

"You think being gay is a choice? Then choose it: Suck my dick. Show me how it's done. You choose it—suck my dick—and I'll videotape it, and then we'll put the proof that being gay is a choice on the Internet for the whole world to see. Deal?"

- Dan Savage

Exactly.
Who or what is making your choices?
Can you choose to like something you detest (for me: boiled okra. You can put a $100 bill in my hand and that slimy, snot look-alike food ain't going down my gullet. $1,000? OK. I'm not proud; I have my price.)

Point being - you can't convince yourself of things you don't believe or simply choose to stop believing in them. Why Not? What's going on here?

Which leads to...

• Who is this 'you' that you cling to as being the real you?
• Who (or what) is actually making the choice?
• Is there really a choice being made at all?

Note: for those of you who, looking at the picture, said:
'Wow! boiled okra doesn't look so bad...'
I have news for you: That's not boiled. That's fried (i think). I couldn't find a picture of boiled okra. I could find a picture to illustrate Dan's quote, but this is a family show...

No Rational Explanation Here

Everyone wants a rational explanation for why things happen. It can be kooky, odd, whimsical, but it better be rational. I think rational in this context means "ego-centric."
By this I mean it better have an explanation tied to "I did it. I'm in control and I did it. This happened then this, then this, then I chose to do that."
Even if what "I did" is bad, awful, etc., still, bad I is better than no I.

And the explanation should be 'mechanical' in the sense that it is predictable, controllable, quantifiable and measurable.

I noticed this when watching Dexter. Initially it was a mystery why he was like he is. I loved that. Then they went and 'diluted' the character by giving him a nice (OK, maybe not so 'nice') reason for being how he is. That I didn't love as much.

I don’t know why I do the things I do, or like the things I like or make the choices I do...do you? Really?

There is an assumption under the need for a rational explanation that I do not have: my 'self' - I - am in control of..well...something! Thoughts and actions are the top two.
But what if "we" are not in control?
I was told that the 12 Step NA program says that a Higher Power is in control of everything except our thoughts and actions. Interesting how that slipped in, right?

Now, in my case I have seen this for decades. Sometimes when dating, my feelings would shift and I'd go from infatuation and feeling in love to nothing. Like a switch was turned off. And I wasn't doing it consciously! I didn't plan it, I didn't plot it out. It just happened and the extent of my experience was watching it happen.

But, boy was that not liked. I had better come up with some nice, neat, rational explanation for the shift in my feelings.

Because if my feelings can shift, then yours can too, right? And how can we count on anything, consistency, etc?

But there is no consistency. not really. There is only The Truth. And NO ONE likes that answer. That means we're not in control, and anything could happen at any moment. Well. isn't that exactly how it is?

And, if there is no control, then who or what am I? And that leads down a very deep rabbit hole that few will look into. Stare into that abyss long enough and it stares back. In Spades.

It leads to: "if I have no control then who or what is making the choices?"

It leads to no-self and that is simply unacceptable, so get to work to find (i.e. make up) a rational explanation to distract us from the deeper truth that is staring us in the face.

Wayne Liqourmann puts it well when he talks about being an alcoholic and knowing he should quit and all the bad things that were happening as a result of his addiction and he still does the same behaviors, even though they almost killed him. That is what convinced him that maybe the 'he' he thinks he is, is not really in control.

Maybe, as Steve Jobs says, looking back I’ll be able to connect the dots. But I sure can’t connect them while it’s all happening.

BTW: I'm not saying I don't take responsibility for my actions. Only that I'm not the author and can't give a nice, neat, rational explanation for why I do what I do, think what I think or feel what I feel. Only that I do.

Whose Life Is It?

I was recently blogging about work and Kitty sent me the photo above.
At first I thought it read "your JOE is not your life"
Works either way quite well, actually.

Family

"If you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your family."

Ram Dass

I recently spent 2 days with mine and had a fine time (minus a couple of awkward moments). No Stress, no muss or fuss. Just people hanging out. Everyone has their issues, of course.

But I could have done a week with no prob...not something that I've really been able to say for a long time, if ever. Stone cold sober, too.

Many paths were tried over the decades to avoid the reality of dealing with family and past. That seems to have faded.

As I said to one of my kin, who seeks a way out... There is no way out. There is simply no where to go.

And no, I don't take Ram Dass literally. Spending a week with them doesn't prove I'm enlightened (whatever that means) but being unable to do so sure could point in that direction...

Enlightenment and Capcaity Planning

This was a quote I saw in, of all places, a book on IT capacity planning:

Busy work does not accrue enlightenment.

Western culture too often glorifies hours clocked as productive work. If you don't take time off to come up for air and reflect on what you're doing, how are you going to know when you're wrong?

Work and Career (pt. 1)

Work and Career issues have been (some of ) the largest "unresolved' issues in my life - certainly in the last few years.
Trying to find the right job...the right work...the right people...and not settle or do what is easiest.

Found this today:

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever -- because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.
And that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking -- and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking -- don't settle.

Steve Jobs
Commencement Address at Stanford University
delivered 12 June 2005, Palo Alto, CA

Light Shines Through

Recently on my morning walk I took these pics.
The first two are interesting: you can see the sun rays in the second (from the position of being 'ahead' of the rays) and the first shows the dark rays (from being 'behind') the rays.

I think it interesting because from where I stand the appearance is different (light rays vs. dark rays) but the sun shines through just as brightly in both cases.

Accessories, Anyone?

One Less Angel?

I related this story to a friend of mine and she suggested (strongly) that I blog about it. I don't know why...I'm trusting you, Sherry!

A few years ago my wife and I were finishing a long hike down off the local mountain. As we came to the end of there trail there's an old, weathered fence that separates the grazing land portion of the mountain from the homes nearby.

As we approached we saw this white shape sitting on top of one of the fence posts.

We got closer and saw it was a white plaster angel. Not even a nice cheery cherub, either.

Like fins on cars this seemed so unnecessary. The trail, the trees, the dust, the fence, the rusting barbed wire all seemed of a piece. The angel definitely did not seem to belong.

How often do we do that? Add on to that which is fine just as it is?

This really infuriated my wife, by the way...who snuck back later at dusk and knocked the angel figurine off the post and into the ditch nearby.

My friend who suggested I blog this, pointed out that the possibility is that the person who put it there found it the exact right addition and it actually added to the beauty of the scene.

Or they are an artist who put it there and is filming people and their reactions.

All part of "Having to Believe."

Of Mice and Elephants

Walking the trail I noticed there were two mice, lying on the trail, one moving a bit and the other not moving till I touched it and then it moved just a little.

I thought they were both babies.

I didn't know what to do. There was nothing to be done.

As I started to move away I heard one squeaking.

As I walked away my heart got full and heavy.

I chose not to tell my wife who was a ways ahead of me and didn't see them.

The next day as we passed the spot I looked down and saw both mice were dead.

I walked a few more feet and started to cry. Stopped and doubled over and just cried dripping tears into the dust. I then told my wife what had happened. She had actually stepped on the body of the smaller mouse. We moved them off the trail.

Many years ago walking through North Beach with a friend, we were on the corner of Columbus and Broadway, in front of Carol Doda's old place, catty-corner to City Light books and Jack Kerouc Alley.

We looked down and saw a mouse, wounded, dying, as people hurried around and stepped over, around, almost directly on the mouse.

My friend went back and stepped on the mouse, squishing it, killing it, and then walked on.

She was sorely effected by that.

I was too. No words, no thoughts.

This thought came back after seeing the dead mice.

Maybe she related to the wounded mouse, with people scurrying by, paying no attention.

Knowing her history, this seemed to fit.

Years ago, trying to convey an aspect of the Immensity of the Vastness in a word I was completely unable to reduce the Immensity to a concept, let alone a word. The image of trying to stuff an Elephant into a Mouse suit came to me as an analogy.

Which led to this piece I wrote a few years ago:

Imagine an Elephant. A REALLY BIG Elephant.

And that Elephant is hanging out in the middle of nowhere by itself.

And, it is alone. There are no other Elephants – never were and never will be.

Now, that’s fine.

One day, the Elephant says – “Gee, I’d like some company. Gee, I’d like to play.”

So, it creates a bunch of teeny-tiny mouse suits.

And it, the REALLY BIG Elephant, tries to put on the mouse suit.

Now, obviously, this is a tight fit. To say the least.

The Elephant has to leave certain parts of itself out, because they just won’t fit.

And, it takes A LOT of mouse suits to hold even a little bit of the Elephant.

The Elephant imbues each mouse suit with the ability to “think” for itself – kinda like winding up a toy and letting it go.

It has to give the mice an illusion of free will or what’s the fun?

Plus emotions to make it all seem really real – danger is scary, love is dreamy, etc.

Then, the Elephant creates a HUGE playground for the mice.

And sets them loose.

Now, the Elephant (when in a mouse suit) can experience all the “reality” of being a mouse – hopes, fears, triumphs, pain, loss, gain, etc. that it can't experience being The Elephant.

Mice all have to die eventually or the place gets real crowded real fast.

And, the Elephant uses the death of a mouse as a way to end that particular “reality”/mouse-ness when it is done/bored/tired of it. On to the next. So birth is a way to get a bit of the Elephant into a new mouse suit (and new associated mouse-life).

Now, imagine that one day one of the mice “realizes” that she is, in fact an Elephant in a mouse suit.

Not just heard it from other mice, not just read about, not even “figured it out.”

But knew this to be true. In effect, the mice voluntarily gives up the “illusion” of being a separate mouse.

Now, this is very interesting.

On the one hand, she’s still got a mouse suit – and all that goes along with it.

But, she also knows, and will for the rest of her life (in that mouse suit) she is really an Elephant in a mouse suit.

Imagine how odd that would be.

Remember, all the other mice still think they are “real” and separate mice and the idea of Elephant is a belief sustained with faith.

The wonder and magic of Life lives through us and often it seems in spite of us

We recently moved from a peaceful, beautiful, warm, sunny, quiet 5 acre farm where we would go weeks w/o seeing anyone to The Bay Area, where it can be cold, foggy, noisy with lots of people.

Going through the day to day things to do and watching the people around me. Many don't seem very happy. They seem sad, mad, resigned. I smile at them and often they smile back. Were they just waiting to be reminded? Called out?

My wife was saying how do people live like that day to day?

I said, well, it's not really living. And the IS is still pulsating and shining through. But, put up enough clouds and even the sun seems to get blotted out. Not completely of course. But it can seem that way.

Standing at the hardware store, under a 6 foot sign that says "Keys Made Here" and the keymaker is making a key for me with all the whirring and grinding noise and there are all these key blanks on hangers around and this other customer walks up and asks: '"Do you make keys here."

It was just too funny. I just looked at my wife and giggled.

I said to the key maker:"How often do you get that question?"

He said: "You don't want to know."

I was laughing all the way out. I think maybe I punched through his crust (a bit).

So, how do people do it day to day? Well, *they* don't. Life does. And the conditioned mind gets more conditioned, people get more hypnotized and stop looking, noticing or being present. That is what we see.

Yet, when we are empty, clear, not clouding the sky with mental debris...

• I can watch my car trailer come loose and roll away and smash the neighbors car...and wonder and laugh at it (thanking the impulse to get take the full insurance option).
• I can drive through downtown San Francisco driving a 26 foot fully loaded truck towing my car on the trailer on the freeways and city streets, making tight turns and all, having never done this before...and do it well (enough).
• I can order in chinese food for the first time in 2 years (the country house, while fabulous, was 30 miles from the nearest town) and enjoy the immediacy and convenience.
• I can look around at the fog and listen to the occasional jets flying over (seems we're near SFO's flight path) and the damp and smaller quarters and my wife freaking out thinking we made a mistake...and talk her down. (We didn't make a mistake).
• I can appreciate the different climate ...as well as when the fog lifts and we can see for miles and even see the top of the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance.
• I can appreciate and value a small community, shops, people, hustle, bustle, life.
• I can appreciate drinks and dinner in North Beach.
• I can be happy to be back in the Bay Area. I love the Bay Area.
• I can be nice to people and greet them and meet my new neighbors and say "Hi" and meet the organic grocer lady and enjoy the sights and sounds and the feel.
• And I can reconnect with my wife, re-partner up. We've had it so easy materially and spiritually in the mountains and we've gotten lazy in processing our stuff.
• My kitties have been healing me and I them. My elder cat even invited me to meditate with her. While we sat there she healed my back, sore from moving.
• And I can find a beautiful trail to hike nearby. Saying "Morning" to people as we pass (but not the runners or cyclists - they are too focused on their feet or pedals).
• I can see and treasure the opportunity to put theory into practice.

Life is wonderful, magical in all its ways.

I feel so grateful and lucky to simply be.

Stay Hungy, Stay Foolish

Reading about Steve Jobs recently, combined with a recent series of (unusual) drops on the part of Apple support, I found myself re-reading Steve's commencement speech at Stanford. I liked it so much that I chose to post it here.

Steve's speech reminded me what is possible when we Dream. And Break All The Rules.

The Problem with Abdicating to an "Authority"

Validation

Wonder and magic abounds, and is so simple.

Enjoy the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

Tapasia

Back in the 80's I introduced a friend of mine to ***-**, and he introduced me to the book: Be Here Now by Ram Dass. The first time I opened the book I opened to a page that described exactly what I was experiencing at that moment.

Given the intense subjective aspect of my experience, I thought: Wow, Pretty neat trick. This is a keeper.

I treasured the book and what it had to say and began listening to and seeing Ram Dass. He always resonated with me.

I last saw him about 6 years ago in Marin, CA. He was in a wheel chair from his stroke, but still telling stories and being Ram Dass. Comforting in a way. The questions he was being asked were probably the same ones he had heard thousands of times. He mentioned hearing the inner voice through the din of the outer blaring trumpets.

I raised my hand to ask a question.

How does one make the trumpets quieter?

He paused...(unusual for him) and then he (the universe) answered:

You don't make the trumpets quieter, you ignore them and pay more attention to the inner voice.

Recently I came across this quote from Be Here Now, for a friend:

Tapasia

Strengthening By Fire

If a man gives way to all his desires, or panders to them, there will be no inner struggle in him, no ‘friction’ no fire. But, if for the sake of attaining a definite aim, he struggles with the desires that hinder him – he will gradually then create a fire which will gradually transform his inner world into a single whole.

-- Ouspensky, In Search of the Miraculous

Here is a Deep Bow, Big Hug and Big Smiles to Ram Dass.

The Speaker Surprised Me

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. ... Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Men often hate each other because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they can not communicate; they can not communicate because they are separated.

The tough mind is sharp and penetrating, breaking through the crust of legends and myths and sifting the true from the false. The tough-minded individual is astute and discerning. He has a strong austere quality that makes for firmness of purpose and solidness of commitment.
Who doubts that this toughness is one of man's greatest needs? Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

Softmindedness often invades religion. ... Softminded persons have revised the Beautitudes to read "Blessed are the pure in ignorance: for they shall see God." This has led to a widespread belief that there is a conflict between science and religion. But this is not true. There may be a conflict between softminded religionists and toughminded scientists, but not between science and religion. ... Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power; religion gives man wisdom which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary.

There is little hope for us until we become toughminded enough to break loose from the shackles of prejudice, half-truths, and downright ignorance.The shape of the world today does not permit us the luxury of softmindedness. A nation or civilization that continues to produce softminded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.
But we must not stop with the cultivation of a tough mind. The gospel also demands a tender heart. ... What is more tragic than to see a person who has risen to the disciplined heights of toughmindedness but has at the same time sunk to the passionless depths of hardheartedness?

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose

Is the motto of the Dillon Panthers, a Texas high school football team shown in the TV Series Friday Night Lights.

Not watching any TV these days, only movies. When I do occasionally turn on TV it seems so odd, surreal and well, just strange.

This is one series I have really enjoyed:

1. The show models grown-up, self-actualized/human adulthood behavior in almost every character, from 8 to 80 year olds. I find this rare in TV: modeling conscious, adult behavior; it's refreshing.
2. Everyone "mans up." Even the women. I mean, almost every character vanquishes their demons and egoic mind to break free. It's inspiring, to say the least.
3. Entertaining. The writing is good, characters have depth, real issues and the acting is very good. Subtleties in performance, camera technique, caught looks and glances all contribute.

And, love their motto.

What are you watching?

Playing for Change

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgWFxFg7-GU&feature=channel

with love to us all...

http://playingforchange.com/

Thanks to Jeff J. for this one - I needed it exactly when it came through.

Big smile

Big hugs

Deep bow

Why Cats Don't Talk

If cats could talk, they wouldn't.

~Nan Porter

Riding the Iron Rail

My friend Sherry recently blogged. In there, the quote:

"The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention" — Cheri Huber

Reminded me: in motorcycle riding we go where we look. It's called "Riding the Iron Rail."

If I look at the car's bumper ahead of me - then that is where I'm going. Even if it means riding right into the bumper. Or worse.

We train ourselves to break the gaze, look away and avoid the collision.

Make a new choice instead of riding the iron rail and smashing into the car.

In grappling with the mind-ego, it seems we begin to give this anthropomorphic qualities:

• My mind is after me


• I have to kill my ego


• Satan is after me (?)


• etc...

And now it's a real thing and begins to take on a life of its own and a momentum of its own and all of a sudden we've gone from simply breaking a habit to a massive war. Something doable to something impossible. The technical term for this is: you're screwed.

I look at this aspect of mind as a conditioned reaction. A set of (now) hardwired reactions, old same tapes and old same tricks (David S writes on this).

This functioning of the mind is conditioned. It's a learned reaction, a habit.

Until we learn to ignore our egoic, conditioned mind, to create new pathways, to recognize its old tricks...we're stuck riding the iron rail to our doom.

It's so simple to unlearn.

Simply break the gaze.

What is Meditation?

Meditation is Non-doing

When people come to me and they ask, "How to meditate?" I tell them, "There is no need to ask how to meditate, just ask how to remain unoccupied. Meditation happens spontaneously. Just ask how to remain unoccupied, that's all. That's the whole trick of meditation - how to remain unoccupied. Then you cannot do anything. The meditation will flower.

When you are not doing anything the energy moves towards the centre, it settles down towards the centre. When you are doing something the energy moves out. Doing is a way of moving out. Non-doing is a way of moving in. Occupation is an escape. You can read the Bible, you can make it an occupation. There is no difference between religious occupation and secular occupation: all occupations are occupations, and they help you to cling outside your being. They are excuses to remain outside.

Man is ignorant and blind, and he wants to remain ignorant and blind, because to come inwards looks like entering a chaos. And it is so; inside you have created a chaos. You have to encounter it and go through it. Courage is needed - courage to be oneself, and courage to move inwards. I have not come across a greater courage than that - the courage to be meditative.

But people who are engaged outside - with worldly things or nonworldly things, but occupied all the same, they think ....and they have created a rumor around it, they have their own philosophers. They say that if you are introvert you are somehow morbid, something is wrong with you. And they are in the majority. If you meditate, if you sit silently, they will joke about you: "What are you doing? - Gazing at your navel? What are you doing? - Opening the third eye? Where are you going? Are you morbid? Because what is there to do inside? There is nothing inside."

Inside doesn't exist for the majority of people, only the outside exists. And just the opposite is the case - only inside is real; outside is nothing but a dream. But they call introverts morbid, they call meditators morbid. In the West they think that the East is little morbid. What is the point of sitting alone and looking inwards? What are you going to get there? There is nothing.

David Hume, one of the great British philosophers, tried once... because he was studying the Upanishads and they go on saying: Go in, go in, go in - that is their only message. So he tried it. He closed his eyes one day - a totally secular man, very logical, empirical, but not meditative at all - he closed his eyes and he said, "It is so boring! It is a boredom to look in. Thoughts move, sometimes a few emotions, and they go on racing in the mind, and you go on looking at them - what is the point of it? It is useless. It has no utility."

And this is the understanding of many people. Hume's standpoint is that of the majority: What are going to get inside? There is darkness, thoughts floating here and there. What will you do? What will come out of it? If Hume had waited a little longer - and that is difficult for such people - if he had been a little more patient, by and by thought disappear, emotions subside. But if it had happened to him he would have said, "That is even worse, because emptiness comes. At least first there were thoughts, something to be occupied with, to look at, to think about. Now even thoughts have disappeared; only emptiness....What to do with emptiness? It is absolutely useless."

But if he had waited a little more, then darkness also disappears. It is just like when you come from the hot sun and you enter your house: everything looks dark because your eyes need a little attunement. They are fixed on the hot sun outside; comparatively, your house looks dark. You cannot see, you feel as if it is night. But you wait, you sit, you rest in a chair, and after few seconds the eyes get attuned. Now it is not dark, a little more light........

You rest for an hour, and everything is light, there is no darkness at all.

If Hume had waited a little longer, then darkness also disappears. Because you have lived in the hot sun outside for many lives your eyes have become fixed, they have lost flexibility. They need tuning. When one comes inside the house it takes a little while, a little time, a patience. Don't be in a hurry.

In haste nobody can come to know himself. It is a very very deep awaiting. Infinite patience is needed. By and by darkness disappears. There comes a light with no source there is no flame in it, no lamp is burning, no sun is there. A light, just like it is morning: the night has disappeared, and the sun has not risen.... Or in the evening - the twilight, when the sun has set and night has not yet descended. That's why Hindus call their prayer time sandhya. Sandhya means twilight, light without any source.

When you move inwards you will come to the light without any source. In that light, for the first time you start understanding yourself, who you are, because you are that light. You are that twilight, that sandhya, that pure clarity, that perception, where the observer and the observed disappear, and only the light remains.
Osho - from the book What is Meditation?

Photos and text © Osho International Foundation

Theory and Practice

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

• Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut/Yogi Berra.

Flow Experience

Definition:

Getting so lost in the activity one forgets the point of why they're doing it in the first place.

A malady common to, but not exclusive of, seekers.

Example: Taking a clock apart to find out what time it is.

By the way: It's ok to lose yourself in what you do. That is not what this points to:

When you do something, you should burn yourself up completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself.Suzuki, Shunryu

Meditation Chuckle

As related by a new Zazen student. Having arrived at the Zendo for the first time and sitting for a few hours, got up and approached the Roshi.

Student: OK, I'm done. I'm Enlightened enough.

Roshi: Ha ha ha. Now Go Sit.

(Thanks and nod to Bob G. for this one)

Loss

Are you willing to give up all you hold dear to know what's Real, even for a moment?

This question gets asked alot along The Way and perhaps we answer semi-automatically.

Have you asked this and really let it in? More than just words or sounds or ideas?

Really let in the feeling of this? What this truly means?

Really Really?

And, lest this become too melodramatic and one more mind-knot, what's pointed to here is not necessarily literal loss, but rather loss of ones' beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and mind-knots about that thing.

The cotton-candy fluff that hardens until it seems solid and gets in the way of the Real.

Wouldn't you like to give that up, even for a moment to see what's Really there?

Postcard

Speed Bump

Learn to recognize the difference between a speed bump, a wall and your own internal resistance.

Speed Bump means slow down, proceed slowly, but don't stop.

A Wall means no further access this way, go around (or find a door...)

Internal Resistance can be faced and overcome (or ignored or melted...).

Need

The universe gives you exactly what you need every moment.

No more, no less. The universe is hyper-efficient.

Really let this in....Try it as a meditation point.

The universe gives you exactly what you need for this moment.

One example of how a shared reality might work...

Simply Celebrate

Watching the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know" reconfirmed a suspicion I've had recently that many of us walk around self-hypnotized.
I mean literally hypnotized.
Think of all the environmental factors that contribute to this:

• TV
• Media
• Radio
• iPod, iPod, iPhone
• TV (worth a double mention ;-)
• Mindless egoic babble
• Allowing Dark background into the foreground
• Mindless Tasks

Question for you: What would you add to this list?

Question for you: How do you break yourself out of this hypnotic trance?

Two dear friends of mine have a technique that works wonderfully and magically. I would like to share this with you.

The technique is called "Simply Celebrate."

In a nutshell it is:

1. Notice you are on automatic. Noticing is the first step. This can come from inside or outside.
2. Take a moment and be quiet internally and allow creativity to fill you and think about how to do what you are doing in a different, creative fashion.
3. Notice any difference this makes.

And, over time, look back and see what difference doing Simply Celebrate is making in your life.

Example: I'm driving, notice I've been on auto-pilot. I then Simply Celebrate by choosing to put on a different radio station. I usually listen to rock, so maybe I change to classical. Or I take my shoes off and drive with my bare feet. Or start singing a song.

The actual specifics of what you choose does not really matter, as long as you:

• Break the trance
• Bring in (non-local) awareness and creativity.

Why does this work?

1. Consciously breaking out of the trance actually causes the neurons in your brain to break their old synaptic patterns, thus opening you to the possibility of new choices and behaviors (FYI: this is a good thing). However, this is not sufficient by itself; or you could simply slap your own wrist, thus breaking the trance.

2. The Creative aspect is vital because this is a direct invitation to the IS to come in and "enlighten" you. Even something small can have this effect.

You can do this anywhere, anytime, with no preparation, training, resources, help, financial support, moral encouragement, support groups, snazzy accessories, zafus, zabutans, incense, books, poems, mantras, gurus, gods, etc. You can do this anytime, as much as you want and it works deeper and deeper.

One thing I like about this technique is that it supports the practice of "small breakthroughs."

By inviting in small breakthroughs, I also invite in what could become a big breakthrough. As I open to breakthrough vs. auto-pilot I open my self. My consciousness expands. My heart opens. My world improves. My experience of the world improves.

Like little ideas and Big Ideas. We can't tell what ideas will be big. So allowing in little ideas opens the door to the ones that are really Big. (Read more about this in the book: Ideas are Free).

Practicing Simply Celebrate allows the Extraordinary Life that is Right Here Right Now to break through the ordinary life you're sleeping through. It can help break through the static, unyielding bubble we place ourselves in called My Life.

Lather - rinse - repeat until mind melts

Then get on with it.

What is on your reading list?

My current reading list:

• Self-Aware Universe - Goswami
• Alice in Wonderland - Carroll
• Paradise Lost - Milton
• Leaves of Grass - Whitman
• Morning Talks - Sant Kirpal Singh Ji
• The Physics of Consciousness: The Quantum Mind and the Meaning of Life - Evan Harris Walker
• The Psychedelic Experience - Leary

What are you reading?

Local vs. Non-local Knowing

There appears to be three ways we know:

1. Via the Senses ( i include internal mental objects with this)

2. Reasoning (a=b, b=c, therefore a = c)

3. Direct knowing (Wolff: introception, knowing through identity)

Reading about quantum mechanics, specifically local and non-local phenomena:

When an electron quantum jumps from one energy state to another, it does so in a discrete jump, not a continuous movement (like beaming in star trek, for example, as opposed to taking an elevator between floors).

However, the big question is: where does the electron "go" during the jump?

It is said to go out of space-time. It ceases to exist.

So, it bips out of space-time-existence at one energy level and bips back in at another..

Oh, and it doesn't just bip back in...it comes back into space-times-existence when it is observed by consciousness. (Enlightenment Opportunity: if you have sufficient personal power you can use this as a portal inward...)

In a sense, consciousness grounds the possibility into reality.

OK, cool, but so what? What does that have to do with me?

Have you had an experience of reasoning? You reason out and solve a problem. It follows a series of steps and can even be said to feel or be "continuous" (in a sense, work with me here).

Compare this with the feeling of direct "Ah Ha!" insight and knowing. We've all had it. Think about a time when suddenly you just KNEW...with tons of knowing and creative energy and you are just bursting forth and you feel like you know everything at once and not in a linear way -but comes in waves and seems VAST.

So, perhaps....

Reasoning happens via the (egoic) brain-mind. And, thought, as conveyed by neurons in the brain, in space-time-existence must obey the physical laws of the universe - which means information cannot travel faster then light. Now, light is fast and this is why thinking can seem so fast. Still, the experience of reasoning seems "limited" in comparison.

But...

What if Direct Knowing (like the little electron on a jump) occurs non-locally, outside of space-time-existence...in the middle of the IS?

If this direct knowing is connecting with being the Universal Consciousness, then as this consciousness, there is direct, immediate, instantaneous (nonlocal = outside of space-time, remember?) access to all knowledge and all consciousness that is, was or will be.

(I can't testify to the last one - but nothing is impossible, so...)

This may be why direct insight feels so Vast, Fast and HUGE. Because it IS (pun intended).

So what, you asked earlier?

By allowing that direct connection to not be blocked, resisted, or slowed down by the mind, one accesses ALL. You are having a Direct Experience of the IS (aka Reality, Universal Consciousness, God, grape jam, whatever). Without leaving the comfort of your chair.

How cool is that?

(No literal truth has been presented here, it is a story, nothing more.)

Wonder and Magic Abounds

Eternal Wonder and Magic Abounds!

Don't restrict, abandon, exclude, shut out the wonder and magic.

Allow wonder and magic to fill your world.

Removing/excluding wonder from your world is not a skill you need to acquire.

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

-(William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence")



(image from: http://www.matiklarweinart.com/en/gallery/grain-of-sand-1963-1965.htm)

Thought For The Day

Clarifying

Early on, I wrote: "Everything we know via perception is a mental construct."

I had mistakenly assumed the mind creates. I would now say it does not. Not really.
Does a contractor create? Or simply build the building as designed by the Designer, Originator, Architect?

This is the point I missed. Once I let in that the mind does not create (Don Juan: The creator that does not really create) but simply passes through, filters, adds onto that Which IS - shining through, all kinds of things shifted. The filters, add ons, interpretations, stories are added by the mind but are taken as reality. This is part of the illusion.

What is Reality? Reality is what IS with no filters or interferences. Personality is a filter, Human Being is a filter, Form is a filter, Thought is a filter (not a specific thought, the "laws" of how thought works.)

Even consciousness is a filter, albeit about as minimal as one can get. Still, consciousness is movement in the IS and as such is a filter.

Reality, the IS can be experienced directly. I had not thought this possible - that all we have are mental constructs and Reality was "over there somewhere" and I had to "get to it" via practice. I took "know" to mean "conceptualize." And in that sense the statement is correct.
No.
Reality.
The IS
Is RIGHT HERE and NOW in all its blazing maelstrom energy.

Why do I not see it that way? Because I have my "filters of the mind" dialed-down so constricting and restricting.
Now, some of that is needed for the organism to survive. (It's really hard to bite an apple when it appears as a cloud of quantum bits - an electron cloud - no distinct surface..what the hell do you bite into?)

Also, The IS operates at NO TIME speed - very fast. So part of what the mind does is to "slow down" Reality so we can manage it.

By raising levels of energy-vibration we can access different realms, realities and universes.

Yet it is ALL right HERE , right NOW...If I simply knew how to dial in the right frequency or simply dial off my filters (Like Hal in 2010) the raging blazing purity and intensity would all be perceivable..

Oh, and I am That IS. So are you, So is everything.

Killing a Belief

I have a persistent belief that I can't quite kill off.

I've seen that belief is false and that what is pointed to is simpler and easier to come to than the ragged, layered, thick idea of the belief....

yet, here it is. A couple of teeth left

A wounded animal.

I look at it.

Ask it: why am I clinging to you?

What is it about you that promises some thing that sustains it and keeps it in place.

I will keep looking. Once found, and light of Truth brought to it, I know it will fade away, like a dead vampire in the sun.

Can Reality Be Known Directly?

• What is Reality?
• What is Knowing?
• Is there a difference between knowing and experiencing?
• Can Reality be known directly?
• If not, why not. If so, how is that different from "normal" perception?
• What is the Shift?

I'm not planning on posting any answers anytime soon - but thought you might benefit from what I'm working on and considering these yourself and see what answers arise.....

Modeling Behavior

When I used to teach software design I would use real-world examples in class rather than the canned case studies the course came with. I preferred to let the students watch me work a (new, unknown) problem, thus modeling the behavior that they were to use in their own software development.

This worked very well. This was also, as you might imagine, risky. There were several times when I worked myself into a design corner that was wrong and had to backtrack and redo and redesign.

Many instructors would freak out at this idea - that they could make a mistake in front of the class.

Me., I saw it as freeing and a great teaching technique:
1. I'm human and I make mistakes
2. I'm willing to own my dirty butt
3. Here's how I fix it

Same is true here. I'll share what I'm going through as I revisit and re-consider many things I've "taken for granted" since (and before ) The Shift.

This is all a work in progress - any of it may be deemed trash and redone at any time.
So, as I always suggested to my students...

Take notes in pencil.

I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque

For those of you who don't remember, Bugs would occasionally pop up in the wrong place and say it was due to his taking the wrong left turn.

There is some of that feeling arising in me this week.

Recent discussions have pointed to the need for me to re-examine some core ideas I have been thinking, saying and believing around all this.

While The Shift is The Shift, I see now there are many ideas and such that I had not done all my work on. Not fully investigated thought about or delved into deeply enough.
Sharon's posts have been immeasurably helpful in clearing out the weeds in my head.

I will say that clearing the weeds is easier, faster than before. The Shift does help there.

The Missing Conversation

Watching Devil's Advocate again last night reminded me of an insight i had into the Whole God-Satan thing.
Accepted mythology is that Lucifer, the Best Angel, rebelled against God - started a holy war and was cast out of heaven (by Jesus if you read Paradise Lost) and into Hell and became the central force for evil on earth. Evil for man to prove himself against...

Most of what I have read on the subject says Lucifer was innately rebellious.

But, what if he wasn't? Here's the missing conversation (takes place before Lucifer's rebellion)
God: Lucifer, my best, most talented and trusted angel, I have a huge task for you.
Lucifer; Yes God whatever it is , how can I be of service?
G: Well, I've created this dualistic universe and I need a "god" to play the role of evil to my good.
L: Okay....(seeing where this is going)
G: This god will be reviled and feared and hated for all eternity. He will be separate and at odds with me. I need my best, most talented and trusted angel to do this. I am asking you.

Now this is where it gets a bit fuzzy. Lucifer agreed to do it...by starting the rebellion! His rebellion was not against God as such, it was against what God was asking him to do - what he was being banished to do. So, his "No I don't want to do that" became the basis of the energy that allowed him to be Satan.

AND, he ends up doing gods will anyway by "resisting/rebelling against" god's will.
How perfect is that?

But, it's all God's will, right, so there was really no choice involved.
I like to think the Intense Anger and Rebellion of Lucifer was fed by his unwillingness to play the role and this intense unwillingness became the basis for Satan's Evil and hatred and Rebellion.

Anyway, a different take on the story.

Death in the family

My biological father passed away this morning.
I senses it was coming from talking to him the last few days.
I notice a shakiness and jitteriness arising. Not sadness per se.
So, there is just noticing what is arising and sitting with it.
Feeling a heaviness and somber-soberness.
Not trying to label or judge.
No preference. No needing it to be this way or that.
No need to put it into bliss-bunny terms like love and light and such.
No need to make it right or ok or any of the other new age BS around make lemonade from lemons.
No suffering. No Guilt or Shame or Fear.
Just here, witnessing. That is all there is.

Newborn

E = How I was right after I was born/conceived...
In talking to my mom the other day and describing the complete de-socialization/deprogramming aspect of E, this is what she said.
Seemed pretty spot on.

Akin to Nizy's - what were you before you were born, I think.

Freedom Restricted

Lately noticing a sense of out-of-placeness/weirdness. Couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Not weirdness in being.

No, more weirdness in rubbing against the "constraints" of the Role being played.

Pure freedom - unbounded, unfettered, no preferences, no desires, begins to chafe (is a good word for it) against the inherent restrictions of the role. Since, the Role is a restriction by definition.

The role, the story, gets repeated, reinforced and rehearsed as we tell it to ourselves and others over and over and over. Who we are, what we are, how we should be, how the world, others and life should be.

We carry lots of things to remind us of the role - pictures, mementos, collectibles, memorabilia, each other.

So, as the repetition is dropped the constant replaying and rehearsing of who and what I am and should be drops away, there is a chafing - almost like being in a straightjacket

Without these reminders we would revert to our natural state w- clean, pure, no "shoulds" and roles and not much ahead of us more than what to do next.

Separate Sense of Self as Learned Behavior/MIndset

(Note: click on image to see larger version)
Playing with 3D stereograms reminds me that the process whereby I can "see" the 3D image "feels" very much like awakening did/does.

There is a sense or experience of allowing something to unfold, stopping resisting, letting it happen.

It cued me to think about maybe this whole "separate self-identification with body-mind" is a learned behavior. I almost certainly did not have this when I was born. No, I think this is taught and reinforced over and over and over again until a mental process or "overlay" as FMW calls it develops. Ego, in other words. The idea that I am the author of my thoughts and actions.

So, perhaps E is breaking free of this mental process. Perhaps trying to break free simply perpetuates it. Perhaps one, "by accident" happens onto the right combination of mental ...whatevers...to stop the process. Even for a moment.

I certainly don't know how or what I do to see the stereograms.

And yet I do.

And many don't